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50. What if…

Objavljeno, 1.7.2019. | My Yes to love journey

It took me a long time to decide to write a blog because on the weekend after therapy everything changed. Everyhing became clear to me. My girlfriends told me: “You became enlightened!”, and then my friend Srebrni came to see me and check out the odd rumors himself and said: – I can confirm this! You really changed the box!

When I see a six-year-old trip while walking along, they don’t judge it. They don’t think how wrong they were to trip. They just go, “Oh boy, did I trip!” Living a conscious life means living more like a six-year-old. It’s choosing for the choice that will make you joyful, not choosing for the choice that makes you feel heavy. People seem to have this point of view that living a life of consciousness is really heavy and serious, tough and difficult. No! It’s the only place you actually have a life of ease and joy, whatever comes up. I know there are people who would hear this and say— You’re just shirking your responsibility. But I am not advocating not taking care of what needs to be taken care of. I AM ADVOCATING TAKING CARE OF IT ALL WITH A LOT MORE EASE—AND TAKING CARE OF YOU, TOO—WITH EASE. Consciousness is pragmatic! It includes everything and judges nothing. It includes paying your rent and calling your parents. You may have things that have to be handled—what if you could just handle them all with total ease and be grateful for you being able to handle them?

What if you would be grateful every time you trip? And be grateful for the fact that you were able to pick yourself up and moved on?

Dr. Dain Heer, Being You, Changing The World. Access Consciousness Publishing Company, LLC. Kindle Edition.

The thing that changed the most is me and my attitude towards everything. I realized that everything is irrelevant, it became clear to me that I am still bound to many things, people and situations by my beliefs and I discarded them all. Do you know how easy that is? Easy as a slap! Everything is just a decision. If you look at it that way, whole life is but a stream of decisions, that, change the course of our life. You simply stop thinking about it (a person, thing or situation) and the energetic bond between you and that breaks, and voila: you are free as a bird (and left with a lot of free energy that you can use for something else). I realized that I don’t have to do anything but give myself time, as much time my body needs to reassemble itself and that took two weeks and I am not even close to being done yet, but I felt the need to write.

I felt the side-effects of the therapy after the last day and throughout the weekend. I felt pain all over my body as if someone whipped me or burned my skin, but I continued to meditate and be positive and gave my body encouragement and an order to take from this therapy everything it needs and to close its receptor sites for toxins and everything it doesn’t need. I told my community of 50 trillion cells (who’s boss I am) that I loved it and that I trust it and I supported it in my meditations in which I felt love and gratitude for its faithful serv0ice all these years. On Sunday morning, the shower still hurt me as the water drops fell on my skin but on Monday all those problems disappeared as if they were never there.

And then a big change occurred. First time after I can’t remember when I felt secure in my body with every step I made. Secure not because of my stability came back, no it didn’t, but I am expecting it, – but I felt as if the signal going through my body wasn’t interrupted. Before, during every step I made, I felt like my extremities didn’t get the signal from my brain and the information they got was only partial and sometimes it didn’t even get there. But that feeling of security lasted for only few days. I only got a taste of it and then a few days later it became worse, much worse than ever. I kept falling, trembling, I became dizzy…

You know the saying: it is the darkest right before dawn? And that it gets worse before it gets better? This was my last resort. The only thing that was lasting was this big change inside me. I was different. I changed the box. Instead of fear, I chose self-love. Instead of self-judgement I chose questions:

– What if my body is reassembling itself?

– What if it needs time to assimilate these chemicals I bombarded it with?

– What do you need, dear body?

– What would you like to eat?

– How can it get any better than this?

– What potentials are here for me to see?

“Most of us learned long ago to stop asking questions. So now, we eliminate the possibilities that are available beyond this current reality. Walking Down the Hallway I mentioned this before … And it is worth repeating: When you’re functioning from answer or conclusion, it’s like you’re walking down a very, very long hallway, and you’ve decided this is where I’m going, and that is it! There are no doors. And the non-existing doors are all locked. And you left the key behind. On purpose. We are so cute!”

Dr. Dain Heer, Being You, Changing The World . Access Consciousness Publishing Company, LLC. Kindle Edition.

Yesterday I went to walk my chihuahua and I fell right in front of my building. Big change: I didn’t curse myself, instead, I thought: How can it get any better than this? What if there is a big change going on inside me? What if my body is reassembling itself? I stood up (with a great effort) and looked at the building in front of me, thinking, What if someone saw this? – and felt relief immediately when I saw all the blinds were down because of a storm.

On my way home, while I was climbing to the 3rd floor, I cried a little bit but when I got up I decided: today I create how I will feel tomorrow. Today I am choosing how my tomorrow will feel.

That was yesterday, and today I had an amazing day!

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