English

48. The darkest night is before dawn

Objavljeno, 2.6.2019. | My Yes to love journey

And so I am traveling the world and meeting people. In my world there are no boundaries, I don’t expect anything bad to happen so it doesn’t, ever. I’m tuned in to the good and into miracles. While I am typing this another big miracle happened, but I will write about that later.

Instead of a two-hour flight and a couple more on the airports, I arrived in Berlin after 10 hours of traveling because the plane in Vienna had technical problems so I had to wait there for 5 hours till the next connecting flight. While I was waiting in front of the gate I noticed some commotion there but I was listening to my audiobook and I sat on a super-comfortable sofa that I didn’t want to lose so I didn’t notice that almost all the fellow passengers for Berlin went away somewhere. I wasn’t worried because no one from the airport wheelchair assistance came to get me (and also because I trust life), so I just settled into the sofa more comfortable and I hoped to snooze. One man, a gentleman somewhat older than me approached me and asked if I knew what happened to our flight. When he told me it was delayed for 5 hours and that we got vouchers for dinner, I told him that in that case I only need some company for dinner.

We went to the restaurant and he went for our food and I was thinking about how I hope that my bold invitation to join me for dinner won’t be misunderstood. I was watching the long line of passengers waiting for their flight and comforted myself that we all are here to shorten our waiting time.

I wasn’t hungry si u drank two small (but very tasty) Viennese beers and the man ate pizza. We talked about everything. We liked the same authors and books and he told me about his two spiritual teachers from my area and that he’s been to Zagreb only once on a “session” with a healer that helped him. I told him about the power of our subconscious mind and that his belief in the healer is what did the healing. It was like a placebo that is just a sugar pill but the patient’s belief in its miraculous powers performs the miracle. He either thought it was acceptable or he just wanted to continue the conversation. He was an intellectual with a very interesting job, but I noticed a very strong incline to mysticism and magic. If he was a woman, I would conclude that he must be practicing some sort of modern witchcraft although men practice it too. My gut feeling told me that6 this man was OK. I told him I was into that when I was younger but now I know that science is the modern language of mysticism and that I want to know how can I do certain things. Then he told me about dark energies that sometimes he feels on certain places and that once he felt them following him into a plane and I told him that I think that everything he believes in exists, but I don’t believe in that. I don’t believe in darkness – it’s just the absence of light and that I don’t believe in evil – for me it’s just the absence of love. He agreed with that and told me about his unusual hobby but before he could finish we got a call for boarding.

He was so nice to give up his seat in the front of the plane and take mine in the back. That’s how I ended up between two men, one who tried to sleep and he inspired me to/ try as well, but the other one was eager to talk.

I am practicing kindness and understanding lately. I thought, one hour and a half flight are not long, but when I saw 50ish photos of his late mother who he thought resembled Ingrid Bergman, I ordered a glass of red wine.

We landed in Berlin and next to the luggage line I found myself in the company of three men: that unusual “Warlock”, the “son of Ingrid Bergman” and my airport assistant. My brother was watching all this behind the glass and smiling watching me how I am introducing all of them to each other. In such moments I feel trapped in my body because I can’t just leave quickly with an excuse and disappear. When my assistant and the “son of Ingrid Bergman” went to get my and his luggage, Mr “Warlock” reached into his bag and pulled out a bunch of papers with odd plans filled with symbols. Then he told me he was a Freemason and that among other things, he is meeting the Berlin lodge. I told him that this begins to look more and more like a movie. In a few minutes, all three men were around me and we said goodbye.

The next day my brother and his wife went to the Netherlands to attend their friend’s Ph.D. ceremonial and a surprise engagement party and I was left home alone. I panicked that I’ll spend the two days alone in the apartment because I walk very badly lately so I was insecure to get out alone. I remembered DJane Natalija from Latvia that I met in the park a year ago. She approached me because she saw I have MS (she had it too) and within an hour she appeared on my door with the ingredients for the home-made anti-inflammatory remedy – the “Golden Milk”, a tasty drink made with rice milk, (a lot of Turmeric), black pepšper, cinnamon and ginger. She made it for me and after that, we spent a lovely day in the park by the river and after I invited her for dinner to my favorite Indian restaurant (we ate a meal dish with Turmeric). The next day I spent with my little friend Gita and her parents and in the evening Natalija came to visit me again and we listened to her mixes up until midnight.

The next day I went to see my friend and have excellent coffee and after I went to an excellent Kurdish restaurant with my brother and his wife.

The medical examinations:

There’s a saying in Germany: Never trust the doctor! – and that was my exact thought while I was listening to the horrible prognosis’ that made sudden death look like a good option. From the last “neuro praxis”, my brother and I got out quite dispirited – he because of me and because of him because he doesn’t know that it’s not that hard for me, but as the taxi was moving further away as if my spite was getting stronger.

The good thing is that in Croatia they’re offering the same treatment that is very strong and aggressive although they said it probably won’t work on me. They said it’s too late, it’s impossible and similar declarations to which I listened with a stone cold face expression, but on the inside, I was thinking: It’s on! I realized MS was a goldmine for the farmaceutical companies because the therapies are very expensive and the patients are on them forever. The therapy that they recommended me was the same as in Croatia and the price of it is so insane that I’m embarrassed to say – although the German doctors said it most probably wouldn’t work.

So I’m left with what I am already doing: Epigenetically signaling new genes for health and downregulating the genes for illness. Tomorrow I’m going home and I won’t give up on myself. They say the hardest battle in war is before the end and we all know the darkest night is before dawn.

Share to:

Pretplati se!

Pretplati se na blog putem e-pošte i budi obaviješten o novim člancima

Slažem se da se ova e-mail adresa koristi za prijavu na newsletter