Today I’ve spent the day in the curative care in a hospital – the first time after my health-oriented incident 7 years ago. In one of the meditations in Mallorca, I got a clear message: “You mustn’t ignore modern medicine. You have to try everything!”. By an interesting twist of fate I met a bunch of pharmacists on the workshop of Dr. Joe Dispenza who warmly recommended me to try out some new therapies for MS, because since my last (and only) visit to the neurologist there were many new and are much subtle than those I reclined with horror after reading their side-effects. And I couldn’t ignore the advice of scientist pharmacists who also happened to be Dr. Joe Dispenza’s students, could I? It is the best of both worlds, isn’t it?
Look, it’s not that I am hen-hearted but then in the midst of that destructive custody battle on court, when I read the side-effects like strong and piercing headaches, pulsating pain in the head, depression, suicide, sudden death…”, I didn’t dare to risk my already compromised mental health and psychic stability. I did well when I decided to cure my psyche first and the body would logically follow.
One of these pharmacists I’ve met on the workshop (not knowing she is one because she was a singer too), I knew from the progressive workshop in Zagreb last year and she was the one that instructed me to (and how to) start manifesting what I wanted. This beautiful girl that I became friends with later, was winning the battle with an autoimmune condition that began (like all our conditions) as an outcome of being in long periods of extreme stress. My opinion (that I came up with after numerous talks with people that have an autoimmune condition), is that getting an autoimmune condition diagnoses is like an alarm that is trying to wake us up before total self-destruction (therefore the name).
When my system breakdown happened, my ego-consciousness of the time was pissed off and embittered that my body has “failed” me. That belief stemmed from the primitive belief that the body was just a machine that “has to obey me” regardless of the way I treat it (do I feed it right and give it enough sleep?). But let’s say that the body is our vehicle we ride through life, but then who is behind the steering wheel and how does he treat it?
In a state of stress our sympathetic nervous system is activated and it puts the system into a high-strung state (it happens because of a feeling of loss of control and safety) and our system is ready to fight or flight (the so-called fight or flight response). And that is OK for a temporary period of time but long-term stress like I experienced is very bad because then our parasympathetic nervous system kicks in and tries to calm down the system. And that is like we are pressing the gas pedal and the brake simultaneously – the machine has to break down.
My wake-up was brutal but it made me close my eyes (because of vertigo and double sightedness) and look within. It was a very interesting journey that still lasts but I am enjoying it more and more especially since Dr. Joe Dispenza scientifically explained to me what exactly happened, how the hormones of stress and survival programs affect us and how those emotions I felt and was addicted to drain my life energy and wrest it away from the places and functions where it’s actually needed – and that is rest and repair. Later I found that our bodies have only two states: rest and repair or fight or flight.
Since then I met tens of people who have completely healed from various “incurable”, deadly or chronic diseases with the aid of personal change, taking responsibility for their emotional states (which was the trigger), complete change of diet, life habits and the introduction of some new, healthy, and life-supporting habits and determining new priorities.
We live in a very interested time where paradigms (especially in science and medicine) change and although the Newtonian model of reality is still very dominant and modern medicine still treats the body like a machine whose parts seem to break down without a good explanation (therefore the name autoimmune – which is a common name for diseases that can’t be explained), the new branches of neuroscience and medicine connect the state of the psyche very much with the condition of the body, like Psychoneuroimmunology.
And so this morning I underwent to all the tests I had to do before the MRI tomorrow. I’m very curious to see how my brain looks like now. I have a good feeling about my tests but I don’t know, I might be wrong. We’ll see. But if “my condition” is much worse on paper and I feel much better – I don’t care.
And something else. Now that I changed my energy and the belief that life is against me, I met wonderful nurses and neurologists that were kind, attentive and willing to find the best solution for me together with me. Really, the world isn’t like it is but like I am who’s observing it.