I meditate every day in the morning and in the evening and sometimes during the day if I have time. When I found out what meditation does to my autonomic nervous system and I compared it to the Western Medicine’s prognostics of my diagnose – I decided to passionately approach it. The Atom is also more energy than matter and I am made of atoms so I am energy with consciousness. After years of trying to change matter with matter I wore myself out with close to no result so I decided to change it with energy.
I used to work out with personal trainers, I went to physiotherapies, yoga, I did TRX, therapy with electricity took supplements but the results were insignificant because I wasn’t “in it” with my heart and soul. I was scared and distrustful not to say disillusioned. Especially when all the medical people were telling me about maintaining my state and hoping the deterioration will come later as possible. They were indirectly assuring me that it’s best if I accept my diagnose, make peace with it and learn to live with it. But I couldn’t do that because we have internet now and there are thousands of testimonies of “impossible” healings of the “written off”, and information and knowledge in front of me as if on a tray.
My soul knew: if they could do it – I can do it! That is why I didn’t stop believing that this is just temporary and that there must be a reason why this had happened although I don’t understand it (yet).
I kept taking the supplements and worked out – and I can’t say where I would be now if I wasn’t doing all that but gradually I realized that I can’t work on my body without being “all in” spiritually as well. That is the integrative approach: spirit and body. Look at the top athletes – they visualize everything before coming to the court or on the track. Their body knows exactly what to do because it’s been neurologically primed for it and we the public are admiring the unbelievable coherence of their movement and intention.
Now I don’t exercise anymore for a little over a year except mentally and people ask me who do I train with and how did I get this muscle tone. You know what am I doing?
I roller skate, I do the front and back jump-kick (Tak Kwon-do, I used to do it), I snowboard, I run in shallow water on the beach lifting my knees high and I dance like I never did before. In my mind.
My right leg that was soft and atrophied for years is strong and firm now, maybe just a couple millimeters thinner than the left… I am more active than ever – I travel, I go out with friends, have fun and laugh a lot. I am satisfied with my own personal epigenetic experiment on me. One day, soon, I will hold a lecture on Epigenetics in front of my colleagues IPD (Integral Personal Development School and Center).
Ah, yes, I returned to school that I deserted in a rush of resistance a few months ago just before graduation. I called my professor and therapist, apologized and humbly asked him to let me come back and continue the 5th and 6th year with my classmates. I admitted that I made a mistake and that I realized it’s silly to throw out 4 years of learning.
I told him that I found he was right: I feel that after I help myself I could help others that are in similar situations but from my personal experience.
The professor just laughed and told me he knew then I’m having resistance but he didn’t want to persuade me then because he figured I wouldn’t even hear him. Now I owe a thesis and the next month my 5th year starts with some cool world famous lecturers on the subject of Bioenergetics. I am so happy because I remember that I couldn’t even sit through the lectures or hold my head up, so I was lying on the chairs in the back and now I can meditate with my back erect and without leaning on to something for an hour!!!
At the end of last year, I went to a Health commission to have my disability determined because I wanted to get that handicapped sticker for my car so I could park closest to the shop doors and in front of my building. When I was called in the doctor was immersed into her papers and she didn’t see me walk in. When she lifted her head I was already sitting in front of her smiling ear to ear.
– And what are you doing here? – she was impatient.
– Oh, thank you for the compliment I will gladly show you how I walk! – I said and got up and after two steps I started falling so she rushed to catch me and asked me to sit down. Then she immersed herself in my health tests and papers.
– And where are the new tests? The last is from 2016.
– I don’t go to neurologists anymore. They don’t have good prognostics for me.
She was looking at my first tests then the middle then the last that cklearly stated that my state clearly improved although the first tests said that my condition is severe and that I will be in a wheelchair by 2014.
– But, how?… How did you do it? – she asked doubtfully looking at me.
– Easy. We live in the time of Google so I found people who healed and I just copied them. Simple. I found out about neuroplasticity, epigenetics, psychoneuroimmunology and the body-mind connection. Actually, I epigenetically signalized new genes and stopped signalizing the genes for disease…She was staring at me blankly and after a short pause she said:
– Courageous. Go for it!
My handicapped grade was 60% on the legs and 20% on the arms which is 80% in total so I got my sticker.
– thank you, but this is just temporary. I will give it back in a year. I don’t intend to be handicapped, I plan to heal completely.
– You just keep doing what you’re doing and I wish you luck! – she said and a few days later I heard Dr. Joe Dispenza’s infamous sentence: You can’t use the benefits of the condition you are trying to change – so I never used the sticker and I stopped using the airport wheelchair assistance. I believed I advanced a lot in every aspect since then and you know what? I don’t need anybody’s confirmation because I feel fantastic!
So much, that the other day when I saw a blind girl, I turned to my friend and honestly said:
Oh, thank you, Lord, that I am healthy! – and we both had a good laugh. I don’t believe in an interventional God (as Nick Cave would say) but if I did, I believe he would find Anđa Marić thanking him for her health – very funny.
Till next week!