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11. Oh, just get over yourself!

Objavljeno, 16.5.2018. | My YesToAll journey

Don’t we live in a wonderful time? Everything is at the reach of our hands. Sadness and depression or solace and inspiration.

 

It’s clear to me now that we alone choose what we will believe and who will we listen to. I am aware now that in this age of information ignorance is a choice. Information is everywhere around us, in the phones in our pocket yet, many still chose ignorance and excuses. More than ever it is obvious who is lazy, who is spoiled, and who doesn’t really want to… still, I feel sorry for people although I know it’s their choice and their responsibility. But what if we’re responsible for someone else, some little beings who need us? What then? Do we have a choice then?

 

That question should appear like a neon sign in front of our eyes in the passionate nights when our brains are down there. Then, right then the flashing neon sign should appear accompanied by a strong voice in our ears:

Are you sure? You will never be the leading role in the movie of your life again! You will never have the right to say you are tired or sleepy or put your own desires in front of everyone else! You will never have the right to be weak, you will have to be strong enough for both of you!

 

However, there is no such thing and that is why persons who are not up to this huge task. And life sure has its way to show us what are we made of.

But what if that is just the way it was supposed to be? I believe that souls choose their lessons, even their parents who are not always here to show us how, but also how not to. I’ll tell you a few stories.

 

This morning I got two messages from a couple of friends. One was worriedly asking me to repeat him the names of some books, methods, and doctors that helped me, although I explained him in detail and forwarded him these pieces of information a year ago. Then, I even met with him and his beautiful wife who just got her diagnose, but she was still in good shape, although, very ill-disposed and resisting to change anything in her life. I understood that because I remembered that phase in which I too, thought that it was just a bad dream and it will pass if I ignore it enough.

That meeting and conversation were completely futile because she wasn’t ready to hear that she needs to get a hold of herself while she still functions so she can prevent further deterioration of her state.

Her husband, my friend from my youth, was worried for the both of them thinking about their two little children, while she, with a smile on her face, passively told me that she wasn’t ready to change anything because she just can’t. I told her: “Oh, then you’re feeling too good. And you know that your husband will take care of everything”.

 

Today, a year later, my friend was asking for help again, and for me to have another conversation with her wife whose state deteriorated. I told him: “No, I can’t because I’m “selfishly” conserving my energy for myself and my homeostasis”. I told him that I can’t persuade her to get a grip on herself and that he can’t heal her with his desire. I also told him that I think she is spoilt and irresponsible towards their children who need a healthy and functional mother. He told me that he knows all that but he is afraid that he’ll be left alone with their two small children. I told him not to worry because there is nothing incurable today, at least if you make a decision to do it. But on the other hand, you can die from anything if you choose to. I told him that I think that she won’t get a grip on herself as long as he is worrying for the both of them. He said: “I know.”

I felt his sadness but then I thought; what if their souls chose this experience on purpose?

 

The message of my other friend held a wonderful article about Tony Robbins, a “self-made” miracle man, motivational speaker, multimillionaire and bestseller author, life-coach and psychotherapist who is inspiring tens of thousands of people every day, consults politicians, businessmen and professional athletes. In front of me, there was the story of his journey from rags to riches, in the literal sense of the expression.

Tony’s mother, an alcoholic and drug addict, chased him out of their home with a knife when he was 17 after which he never returned. He had a brain tumor because of excess growth hormone that caused a rare case of gigantism. Did you also think of the expression “Lucky him!” that people like to say when they’re only observing the final part of someone’s story, and did you remember the story of Nick Vujicic who was born with no extremities? Tony also says:

We are not suffering because of facts, but because of our own interpretation of those facts. We decide the importance of the events in our life.

We don’t need to change. We just need to find the part of us that is already happy and successful and enable it to appear as much as it can.

 

I believe that this is the slogan of all super-souls, men, and women. The article cited 50 of his most popular sayings, and I was most impressed by a question and advice at the end:

Which event influenced the forming of your personality the most? Was it a good event or bad? Is it possible to interpret it like a good one, so that it could empower you instead of taking your strength?

I felt such a relief. I’m not crazy after all when I say that the events I went through these past years were the best thing that had happened to me in my life. I came to know what I am and what I’m capable to do/overcome. My story is like a child’s game in comparison to many’s but I agree with Tony when he says:

When you suffer you’re just obsessed with yourself.

And:

Spiritual strength comes from spiritual pain.

I saw and heard about many super-souls who overcame things that are unimaginable to me and whose stories put mine to shame, but I guess everyone’s pain is the worst to him. I am writing this as a reminder to myself to get a grip on myself, lift my head and carry on. I have my “dark nights of the soul” too when I think I can’t go on. Like the other day when I fell on my back directly on my head that hurts me still today. Or when two weeks ago I fell in the center of my town when the thing that hurt me the most was my pride. And today’s messages were just reminders that I better be grateful because it could always be worse. I always thought it was so hard for me because I was alone (single) going through this. Now I realize it was my motive not to give up on myself because I had only myself. It was a blessing in disguise.

 

My son wished that I walk again by his birthday in September. Challenge accepted, heavy training is on. I can teach him only by my own example, that there is nothing he can’t accomplish if he puts his mind to it.

Next week, Dr. Joe Dispenza’s workshop is in Berlin. I’m already in heavy training for it but this last week I will do my best! I’m rushing to attain new knowledge!

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